PARENTING A TEENAGER
Most
of the times ‘growing up of a child’ is a challenge to parents who are not
actually prepared to handle this. Parenting a teenager in this global and
technologically advance culture becomes a difficult task for parents, and they
may not feel well equipped for facing this situation. They may feel insecure, frustrated,
or may experience helplessness over the behaviour and the appearance of the
child; who is actually no more a child but an adolescent!
Actually, the foundation of dealing with this is
laid down in the early childhood itself. Thus parents need to start early
relationship with the child immediately after birth. Then only they will be
able to enjoy the ‘growing up’ of their child as well and they will be able to
guide their teenager in this difficult and important phase of life.
Let
us review a few important steps to handle this phase with ease...
Give time for proper & conscious communication
Mostly parents talk to their child just to give some
instructions or to scold them. Even going for a dinner or shopping may not
initiate proper communication. But, spending time, may be, doing nothing
specific and sharing their views and ideas, may lead to purposeful and effective
communication between parents and child.
Encouragement
A word of
appreciation, a pat on the back or a touch of comfort will do wonders for the child/adolescent.
Appreciation and reward need not be restricted only for great achievements but
can be given frequently for small things as well. Reporting good behaviour of
the child to other members of the family, saying sorry or a thank you for small
incidents, can motivate a teenager for positive behaviour.
Balance of discipline and rules
Rules are external
controlling agencies while discipline refers to internalising of rules. It is
always good to set certain rules, but it is important to communicate and
discuss with the child before setting the rules. This will help the child/adolescent
to understand them better. This will
also motivate them to take proper decisions of themselves. Following the same
set of rules by parents will help the child/adolescent to model their behaviour accordingly.
Avoid over-protection
The phase of
adolescence is a transition from childhood to adulthood. This is a process of
development, from dependence to independence. Thus a teenager will need an
opportunities to be independent and be self- dependent.
Understanding the difference between necessity
and luxury – in today’s world, for an adolescent, having cell phone may be
termed as a necessity but having a disproportionately costly handset will be
luxury and unwanted indulgence. Value of
money and effective utilisation of time needs to be re-emphasised time and
again.
Identify early signs of anxiety and depression
Teenager is a sensitive and stormy period of life. Teenager
need to handle multiple challenges, for which they may not be trained. Academic
challenges, peer pressure, technology, family expectations, self – consciousness
are some on the list. Bodily transformations due to hormonal changes add to the
woes. This may lead to behavioural problem, anxiety, nervousness and
depression. Parents need to be alert in observing these signs and signals and
provide timely help.
Promote physical activity
Lifestyle with physical activities will help the
teenager to remain relaxed. It also leads to a happier and healthier
individual. It helps them in relieving their aggression and improves digestion;
meaning improved appetite. It also helps in developing deeper and social
contacts.
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